Denise, a successful business woman, rang me urgently: “I’m desperate, I just can’t do it again” she started the conversation, “Do what?” I asked, “I need to catch a flight tomorrow morning and I’m already stressed out, I’m a complete mess...”. "Shall we tap on it tonight?" I suggested; she agreed and hung up with a sigh of relief.
Later that evening we met again online. Focusing on what awaits her just around the corner, Denise went into great details sharing how anxious she felt before each and every flight and how much she hated it. Concluding with the punch line of: “I can’t carry on like this anymore…!”
We started tapping while Denise described a typical flying scare…
The anxiety would creep in the night before the flight; Denise found herself repeatedly checking her bags and confirming that she had all the flight details and itinerary on her phone as well as a printed copy before she would allow herself to go to sleep.
The next morning she would wake up early and quickly jump into the car to be driven to the airport. This is when the heavy sensation settled in her chest. It got worse after she was dropped off and walked with her carry-on towards the queue leading to the security check. Her nervousness became more noticeable: her face was red and she was sweaty. To be precise, the sweat was dripping along her back with two big and embarrassing circles of sweat forming under her armpits. Despite the fact that Denise was dressed in her business suit, had professional makeup (even at 5am in the morning), and her hair was perfectly done, she was always asked to step aside for a thorough check & scan at the security. “Always?” I challenged her, “Yes, always, no exceptions.. for years”, she confirmed.
Denise took a short breath before she moved on. Once the security check was finally behind her, she made her way to the designated gate, where she would sit and wait with all the other passengers. Spells of sweat were covering her body and an accelerating anxiety was omnipresent. She was convinced that her destiny was determined and she's about to die. She felt as if she was part of a cattle herd waiting to be taken to the slaughter; a sensation that increased as she walked through the gate to the airplane alongside the other travellers. By the time she made her way to her seat, her communication abilities were very limited, and she just prayed that the flight will be over, feeling trapped, nervous and hopeless.
It was time to get EFT to work...
We measured the physical symptoms: the crawling headache, the heaviness in her chest as well as the feelings of stress, anxiety and irritability that Denise experienced. On a scale of 0-10, where 0 refers to being neutral & calm, and 10 refers to being stressed to the max, Denise rated the anxiety as 20!
We created a future story, her next day’s flight, and worked on each and every step along the way that triggered her. While Denise gained some relief, it was obvious that things didn’t completely clear out. I then asked her about any 'history' she might have in regard to flying. Denise thought for a minute or two and reported back with a short and firm answer: “Nothing”. All of her past flights, and there were many of them, were safe. There was nothing major or out of the ordinary that had happened to her in that regards.
I asked Denise to describe her first/ earliest flying memory. There was a big smile on her face when she clearly remembered her first flight at the age of 6. Denise joined her dad on a flight to visit their extended family and clearly remembered the excitement, the lollies she was given on the plane, the attention from the staff and… nothing, absolutely nothing that would indicate on any negative or traumatic experience.
I could see that Denise was getting worried when she couldn’t recall any 'problem'. She was already experienced with EFT work and had some significant break throughs when she resolved difficult memories from her childhood, so why was this one different?
We started tapping on the situation that she was in, just as it presented itself: “Even though I can’t think of any outstanding memory or event related to flying, I accept myself.." And lo and behold, after two rounds of tapping a story popped up. “It was my nana” she started, “she used to ask us not to fly because we might die”. Turns out that every single time her grandma heard that somebody in the family was planning to go on a plane, she would try to persuade them not to fly by telling them that flying is dangerous and they might die.
Now we had something tangible to work on! Denise tapped on the voice of her nana and the sentence that she used to say (it was always the same…), as well as the worrying look on her face and any other aspect that she could remember. By the time we finished, her anxiety reduced significantly.
We then rehearsed the ‘story’ of going to the airport and catching a flight. The intensity and triggers literally melted away as we tapped. Surprisingly, or not, her headache faded away as the session progressed and Denise was calm about the entire experience.
Three days later, upon landing from her return flight, Denise reached out to me and happily reported that she managed to stay calm throughout both flights. She tapped ALL the way to the airport and for the first time she was NOT stopped at the security check!
Better yet, a few months later Denise confirmed that the fear of flying was a story of the past that never came back since that session :)
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